You can chase all of the shiny things you want. It’s your life.
Looking at yourself, reflecting, and understanding yourself are the keys to aligning your life and dreams.
Here’s a thought experiment. Finish this sentence: “I’ve always wanted to (blank).” Dig back into your past and pick the coolest one. It might be a regret, a deep desire, or simply a childhood dream. Here are some ideas:
- Travel the world
- Train service dogs
- Get a PhD
- Go spelunking
- #VanLife
Whatever you’ve come up with, it’s undoubtedly shiny. Life would be better if you sold all of your belongings and lived in a camper near a national park. The sooner the better! It’s possible. People do it all the time.
You can chase all of the shiny things you want. It’s your life.
The Shiny Thing You Want
Before you chase that shiny thing, the Life Coach in me would ask you to press pause for a second and assess (the national park will still be there). Let’s say that ever since you were little you wanted to live in a camper. My first Life Coaching question for you would be: “Does minimalist living align with your needs?”
For me, I can backpack for a weekend or even a week. Long term, though, know this about myself:
- I need my big comfy bed, a room for yarn, and a garage for my bikes
- I’m happiest with lots of plants and a view
- My favorite must-have modern amenity is indoor plumbing
If you’re like me and have non-negotiable space and comfort needs, the thought experiment stops here. However, I also know that my needs will change and evolve as I change and evolve. These are both inevitabilities of my life. So I plan to check in regularly with myself.
If you’ve ever reached a goal only to wish you hadn’t invested so much energy into getting it, now you know why. You changed before you reached the goal. Similarly, you’ve likely gone through a total transformation since you got your first Barbie Dream Camper and decided it would be awesome to live in one. You’re also probably okay with letting go of that particular goal.
You can chase all of the shiny things you want, but stay in touch with your evolving needs.
The Shiny Thing I Wanted
It’s easy to see how much you’ve grown by examining an old childhood dream, particularly if it’s one that you let go of years ago without giving it much thought. It’s trickier to look at the goals you’re currently working towards or long-held deep desires you intend to achieve. But we can absolutely apply the same kind of assessment to current and future shiny things.
For example, I’m a competitive athlete. I enjoy challenging myself physically. This is my shiny thing. And it comes with actual shiny things at the end if I do really well. Every year in January for years, I signed up for a whole season of triathlons. I had needs and goals that triathlons met.
Over the years, I missed weddings, trips, happy hours, and time with family and friends. I really wanted to enjoy more live music but kept having to pass it up for the next workout or race. I’d formed my triathlon goals in a vacuum without looking at the impact it would have on ALL of the areas of my life.
I can chase all of the shiny things I want, as long as I’m clear on All of my needs and priorities.
Whole Life Shiny Things
The best shiny things, the ones that are worth chasing, add richness to your whole life. Certainly everything we want comes at a cost. It’s up to us to assess whether or not that cost is worth the sacrifices we have to make in other areas. So when you’re assessing a goal in one area, be sure to look at your needs and the possible sacrifices to your Relationships, Family, Community, Psychological Well-Being, Spiritual Health, and Livelihood.
How do you know when you’ve outgrown a goal that’s been with you so long, it’s part of who you are? For me, the trigger for reevaluating my triathlon schedule was the preponderance of unmet needs. They’d built up slowly over time, but eventually they made it clear that my life was less than I wanted it to be.
Once I knew what I would be gaining, it was easy to adjust my race schedule. This change gave me more freedom to enjoy live music and precious time with loved ones. Additionally, the years of dedication to my athletic goals showed me that I didn’t have to go to the family reunion EVERY year or attend that annual event in Lake Placid that always falls on the same weekend. I could have my races and live music too.
With value awareness, you can have all of the things that make you shine.
