In The Rajes Series of books, Sonali Dev puts a Bollywood spin on Jane Austin classics. I was listening to the audio version of the third book in the series, Incense and Sensibility, when the always-wise mother said, “Clarity is knowing what you want.”
My brain skidded to a halt. Is that all clarity is? Because knowing what I want means that sometimes I want things that aren’t good for me.
- There are times when I know I want to stay up late.
- I usually know I want chocolate.
- Nachos and a margarita are always better than whatever healthy meal I’d planned.
So how do we really KNOW?!?
Adventure is for the brave; success is for the prepared. Clarity supports both.
Me!
To get clarity, start by identifying your guideposts. In a literal sense, actual guideposts out in the world are intended to help travelers find their way. These are generally placed at junctures and on long stretches. Your guideposts will do the same. To find them, ask yourself:
- What do I value?
- What won’t I sacrifice?
- What am I willing to sacrifice?
- Where do I know I belong?
- Where do I need to go across all of the areas of my life?
These are Big Questions, but you likely know the answers. If you don’t, don’t despair. This exercise is all about you. You get to decide what you care about. Also, you can change your answers anytime and still be clear on what you want.
Check the Map
Once you know what your guideposts are, you’ll want to see if your path is on the same road as your guideposts. I do this by checking in with myself every week. At my desk, in a journal, while I’m washing my hair, I ask myself:
- How did last week go?
- What did I learn?
- What didn’t feel great?
- How does that take me into this week?
- How do I want my trajectory to be different?
- What can I do right now?
This is a habit, and my week feels fuzzy without it. (Am I going the right way?)
Prepare for Detours
What you want and what you need will change on your journey – probably many times. How many times have you heard stories of people who were steadfast in their studies, had a plan, and completely abandoned it because they discovered something they love that they didn’t know existed before that very moment? These people absolutely knew what they wanted until they absolutely knew something else.
This is because we are information gathering beings, confronted with new data and junctures all the time. To have clarity, it’s important to check in with yourself regularly and adjust as necessary.
